Home Forums Topics General Major Concern! (long post) Major Concern! (long post)


Hey @Joe

First off, thanks for sharing and being willing to open up about some of these challenges you are facing.

You are in a unique position being a coach in the program and also having kids a part of it.

Here are some initial thoughts that should serve you in your decision making process and what next steps to take.

1- If I reached out to you and shared with you exactly what you just shared, what advice would you give me?

-I take it a step further and will often think about these type of situations from a parent perspective…example, I have 3 kids. If one of my kids came to me and asked this question or if they watched me and I needed to model how to handle a tough situation, how would I model it for them?

2-I will tell you what I would do if I were in this exact situation. And to level-set before sharing, I source some of my answer from a place of my faith as a guiding force

I would first go to the current boys coach and share with him my observations…HOW you/I do that is everything.

a) You could write a letter and show that you have put in significant thought and prep time.

b) You could write an email

c) Or this option – I would probably talk face to face and say something like, “Coach, I’ve been thinking a lot about our program lately and have some information I would like to share with you. Are you open to meeting to discuss? ….depending on the temperment and personality of this HC, the art of this conversation is important….does he/she like direct communication? will you need to lead with some positive celebrations about some good things he is doing and highlight those, then say b/c of all the positive things going on, some of them are being clouded out by some negative (or “opportunities for growth”)….I would then share some specific examples that are causing issues behind the scenes and could cripple the program

Some additional thoughts to consider:

Ask questions to see what he thinks? where does he source things from?

I would go directly to the person first and not go above their head…if the conversation fell on deaf ears or was met with major resistance, I think you could consider going to higher-ups if it was in a really bad spot.

you could say something about “all leaders have blind spots”…what do you think some of your blind spots are? what do you think my blind spots are?…that could lead into sharing some of the blind spots you perceive and laid out above.

i would also take the opportunity as a real teachable moment for some of the players. Players all over the country at every level play for coaches they don’t agree with, like, respect, etc…I think leaders/coaches/parents…we could all help kids navigate these situations as they will happen throughout our lives with co-workers, family members, bosses, spouses…we have to learn how to work through adversity with people, not internalize bad feelings and live in a cycle of frustration.